Slice of Life
by – Sheri de Grom
Heritage Antique White Climbing Rose
Sheri’s Garden
Last week I talked about a nasty fall I’d taken and I was out of sorts with myself. I knew I needed to look inward but that wasn’t what I wanted to examine. I didn’t want my neurologist notifying me that I’d lost count on the number of serious concussions I’d sustained. I’m now at eight. A helmet will no longer help me.
Two of my blogging friends hit a nerve that made me sit further back in my chair and take notice of what they had to say. The first: Bill at http://dealingwithcopd.wordpress.com. Bill picks a word each week when he tells us how he’s feeling and writes a brilliant essay centered on that one word. I’m behind, maybe not behind; I’ve read this week’s blog. I’m still hung up on the previous word he discussed: ‘Expectations.’
I’ve had a field trip with ‘expectations’ and am still mulling it around in my head. It’s made
12 Matching Roses Lived in 4 States
me nauseous. I either had the choice of reaching for medication or being sick. A number of times I sat with my journal and wrote about the expectations I believe others have of me or place on me. Those expectations are easy compared to the ones I impose upon myself.
I have a number of medical reasons why I fall but when I set aside all of those, it’s my own expectations that make my load far too heavy to carry. I don’t and won’t stop and my body simply does it for me by falling.
Antique Midnight Samba Sheri’s Garden
One of my stress relievers is working in the garden. I love to dig in the dirt and create pallets of color with roses, wildflowers, multiple blooming vines, a hummingbird haven and another one for the bees. I’ve had two new victories this year that I’ve not experienced before.
One is that I finally have Clematis that’s happy to bloom. It’s the ‘Nelly Moser.’ I’ve had the three gallon plant for three years and it’s done nothing. I’d given up and allowed weeds to grow over it during the fall and this winter it stood in freezing water until a block of ice formed for months. We’ve also had a lot of water this spring and we still have lots of water. Nelly is not supposed to be happy. Do you think she’ll die or will she flourish now that she has a bag of new miracle grow soil and nice mulch to protect her roots? I’ve even provided her a nice wrought iron trellis.
The second victory is a peony that I’ve moved three times to get it to a place where it
Sheri’s Garden Bidwell Vine
would have dry feet as instructed and nothing would bother it. I finally gave the peony away but my friend never dug it up to take home. It looked worse than a dead plant should have.
The same sequence of events happened to the peony as the clematis. Then this spring the blooms were some of the most majestic I’ve ever seen. Tom told me it reminded him of a bunch of writers sitting around talking about writing rules and what you can and cannot do or you will or will not get published.
The peony bloomed as if it were a New York Times Best Seller. It should have acted as a manuscript; it wouldn’t have made it to the slush pile.
Lady of Guadalupe Sheri’s Garden
Huntie at http://chasingrabbitholes.com is the second blogger who caused me to take another look at how I’m living this life of mine and always rushing from one task to another. She reminded me to always be aware of my surroundings. Of course that makes perfect sense. I was forever telling my staff they had to be aware of every component of their surroundings. In our business we couldn’t afford one slip-up. It could cost a life.
I’ve been moving through my days in a fog. There’s been too much on my plate and I know I need help. I must juggle the budget one more time. I cannot keep up this pace.
Veteran’s Affairs would allow someone to come to our home two hours two times a week. (I’ll talk another time about how it took us nine months to get the evaluation appointment about caregiving and Tom was already rated at 100% disabled). However, we have no in-put into who that individual is. The attendants are not licensed or bonded. And, they would simply be here, as in do nothing except monitor Tom. I’m here! What would we gain?
PROVERBS 24:14
Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it,
there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
I look back on the past week, month, year even, and sense that I have not been aware of
Jacob’s Coat Sheri’s Garden
You Lord and the lessons You would have me learn. I don’t want to be someone who mentally checks out of life. Even when the burden is too hard, I will glean wisdom that feeds my soul.
Shelter me, Lord. Take me in Your embrace and keep me safe from my past and my future worries. If left on my own, I would not make it through the night without a stream of tears. But with You I can relax. I think more clearly from this place of refuge.
PSALM 16:1
Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
Lace Cap Hydrangea Sheri’s Garden
Sheri Lawrence de Grom 
Sheri – I am not sure if I shared this clip. This is my family members in this musical clip.
Mihran: Thank you for sending me this wonderful clip. I had not seen it before and it’s truly amazing. Not only is the music pure delight but you have a lovely family. The video shows the homage you pay them and that speaks volumes. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Sheri
Your garden is beautiful, your prayers are beautiful, and you are beautiful! I am grateful to have you in my life~
Cindy – And to you. You add much richness to my life. Sheri
Sheri, you also add much more richness in my life.
Mihran – Thank you my friend. The feeling goes both ways. Sheri.
Great and wise to Learn from our experiences and to share them.
And The photos are beautiful.
Thank you so much. My allotted time in the garden will go to dead-heading today as we had rain last night.
Good night friends! Sleep well and sweet dreams, and smiles when you’re sleeping
We hear tomorrow night as beautiful and quiet!
Ileana – Thank you for stopping by. I always sleep the best when I’ve had a couple of hours to work in my garden. I often have a hard time sleeping but the garden provides me the peace of mind I require.
Good evening! I understand that you have a garden. I like gardens, especially the flowers! A night and a peaceful sleep! ❤
Thank you. And, yes. I always get a good night of sleep after working in the garden.
The Antique Midnight is STUNNING! Your garden is a beautiful reflection of the love and tender care you give to all things around you. Many blessings to you on this journey. And may you be blessed with the perfect person to do care in your home.
“the small, quiet streams of hope and whispers of contentment.” ~ This sounded like a good pact for many of us to take on…so beautifully written. Hang in there. The world deserves your beauty!
Marie – Thank you for your kind words. I so love the garden and making sure all of the plants are happy there. They bring me such tranquility. I’ve posted in this blog about 1/2 of what’s currently blooming. There’s something about digging in the dirt that brings me a peace I must have to carry on my day-to-day life.
What a healing tradition that sounds like something I want to start. I love flowers and gardening…but I love the thought as you say having tranquility all around me. Thanks for visiting..
Beautiful post my friends. God is indeed our refuge and our strength. When we are tired running, when our burden is so heavy, we can rest his garden and find peace. Thanks for today’s inspiration.
Thank you for taking the time to stop in and read with me and even more, for leaving a comment. I always appreciate hearing from my blogging friends.
such a beautiful garden. Wish I had my own yard, I’d do wonders. 🙂
Ahmed – My neighbors laugh when they see me digging up yet another space in the grass for a new garden. They tell me I soon won’t have a lawn to mow. (I refuse to tell them that’s the whole idea). Why mow a lawn when it’s the flowers that bring me so much joy. Thank you for being here.
I got confused when I first read your comment LOL! But yes, what’s the point of mowing the lawn when all we need is more flowers and colors in our life to make us even happier?! You should plant more and more flowers and share the pictures with us, I’d be happy see them. Have a blessed day. 🙂
Great post, Sheri! Love the pictures of your garden. My wife doesn’t do a lot of flower gardening, but she works in her vegetable garden almost every evening after work.
So sorry about your fall.
Bill – I know that God is with me every step I take and with every breath. Yet, there’s no place equal to being in the garden that I feel the closeness of God. I have my best conversations with God while digging in the dirt.
The photos of your flowers are beautiful. They show the love and care you take with your garden. How wonderful you were able to sleep for many hours. Sleep is healing. Yes, the body tells us when we overdue. I’m just now beginning to listen. Hope you are feeling better.
Those of us that wish to rush into life and take everything in have an extra hard time listening to our bodies, I think. It’s a constant battle I have with myself. I have friends that check in with their bodies repeatedly and I believe can become a crutch for not participating in life. It seems to be such a delicate balance.
What a beautifully articulated and beautifully illustrated post, Sheri. (Authored by one beautiful person.) You and I are so busy seeing life as a SIEGE that we miss the serenity in a scent, the peace in a passing breeze. Let’s make a pact to STOP once each day and identify the small, quiet streams of hope and whispers of contentment.
What a wonderful idea, John. It’s so easy for me to rush into the garden with a plan in mind of where I need to spend my energy that I forget the real purpose of having a garden. You, my friend, just made yourself a pact to STOP once each day and identify “the small, quiet streams of hope and whispers of contentment.” Thank you. Sheri
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Beautiful words (as usual) and garden. I SO wish you well. ❤
Thank you, Bonnie. I so appreciate you being here.
Sheri, when I would fail to provide self-care, my therapist would tell me I was self-sabotaging. This always got my dander up and she knew it. It was effective, and she also knew that. Over time I have taken in the truth of it. If I don’t take proper care of myself I am no good to myself or anyone else.
I would encourage you to consider the possibility you are subconsciously self-sabotaging. In my case, I finally figured out I did it because caring for myself brought up feelings of discrepancy of not being cared for as a child. This sounds simplistic as I write it, but it was profound for me.
Denise – I understand perfectly what you are saying. In a conversation with the daughter of my favorite aunt, she opened my eyes to an entire side of my personality that I hadn’t explored before and it honestly set me back light years in thinking about the whys and why I had never explored a specific area in my life. My cousin is a decade older than I am and she told me that her mother, my favorite aunt who happened to be married to my favorite uncle and my dad’s brother, told her (my cousin) she didn’t believe I received enough love at home from my mother – certainly not the love I deserved. Perhaps I’ll blog about that some day.
Dad was a busy rancher providing for a large family but he always seemed to have the time to take me along whenever he could. I have many fond memories of him rescuing me from the house and all that.
I’ve been positively exhausted this past week – more so than usual and I finally gave myself permission to take a nap at 2:00 yesterday afternoon and didn’t get up until after 7pm. The child within had a huge bowl of ice cream before going back to bed with her favorite shih tzu (much the same as when she was a child) around 10:30 pm and we slept until 1130 today.
Tom had an emergency open heart surgery this week, on top of everything else, and it all seemed to catch up with me yesterday and I couldn’t take another step.
I always appreciate your suggestions and know you’ve walked a mile in shoes similar to those I wear. Thank you.
Sheri, I nominated you for a Black Wolf Blogger award. Check out my latest post for the further instructions. I like wolves anyway:)
Inese
Inese – I responded within notifications but for some reason it’s not showing up here. Thanks again. Sheri
I know Sheri, yesterday WordPress was a mess.
Sheri, Your garden is a wonderfully calming place. A place you can go to ponder those expectations you put upon yourself. It is a place where you can revise, review and reevaluate your expectations, and maybe come to some conclusions that will foster a better quality of life for you and Tom both. Maybe you could use that 4 hours a week to take some very important me time, giving you the opportunity to relax if only for a moment at first, and more as you become familiar with the process. These four hours are being made available for the 24/7/365 caregiver, allowing them peace for 22 of 24 a couple days a week. It doesn’t seem like much in the big picture, but I am pretty sure you come to cherish those 4 hours each week. Something to think about, maybe even consider. Please take care, Bill
Bill – I would jump on those four hours a week in a heartbeat if the individual were licensed and bonded. However, I cannot allow an unknown person full-range of our home and give them the opportunity to take anything they want or even case the house and come back at a later time. I’m not allowed to ask them to do anything other than to get a drink for Tom or a bite to eat. That’s it. No exceptions. They work for minimum wage thru a temp agency. I expected more from the VA, I’m just not sure why.
Oh man, I would love to have a garden as beautiful as yours! We put a deck on the back of our house so there isn’t any dirt left to plant in. Though I love hanging out on the deck every day, I wish there were more flowers and trees, so I’m envious of your beautiful garden. Wow.
And what I glean from your post is: you expect too much of yourself and therefore you’re harming yourself inadvertently by falling. I have no real solid advice because I think you already gave it to yourself.
Hello Patti – How are you my dear friend? I’ve done deck gardening in the past with lots of large containers, hanging baskets, etc. You can do it with beautiful results.
My falling is caused because I push myself to do too much in not enough time. I don’t have good balance due to my TBIs and once a person with TBIs lose their sense of balance, they never regain it. It goes along with the loss of peripheral vision, etc. I am however constantly reminding myself to slow down.
I finished my Blackberry Island book. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
How are your edits coming? I’m so very proud of you and your accomplishments. Sheri
Beautiful words and photos!! xxxxxxx
Willow – Thank you. Hope you have a great week coming up. Sheri
🙂
Sheri, the most beautiful garden is the one that grows inside your head, heart and soul. That rich soil has brought forth some of the most beautiful blooms I have ever seen. No matter what the outcome, you and Tom can relish the joy of both your outside and inside gardens. Hang in there as always, my dear one 🙂
Florence – It’s so nice to see you here my dear friend. Thank you so much for the wonderful metaphor. You know it means the world to me. We had an unexpected hitch in our week – Tom had 100% blockage of the left artery and his ‘previous’ cardiologist and ‘previous’ cardiac surgeon plus ‘previous’ internist had chosen not to share that bit of information with us! I’m late getting to blogs this week and have some brand new material for yet another blog! One of these days I will calm down . . . I think. This is stigma of the worst kind and I’m more than outraged. Sheri
And well you should be outraged, Sheri. Hang in there for you and for Tom 🙂
Beautiful garden and photos Sheri, I hope you can take some time to enjoy it. I’m all too aware of the ‘expectations’ word – I remember once being challenged by a counsellor because I’d been talking about what I should do and how things should be and she made me think about why I put that pressure on myself for things to be a certain way.
Andrea – Oh yes, I bet we’re alike in the should’a, could’a, would’a blame games. Each time I verbally head down that path, Tom will interrupt me with, “and where are you going with that.” One thing I have learned with my gardening is that I’ve allowed myself to experiment and I’m more than likely to dig up a place for a garden in the most unlikely places. Neighbors laugh and say that when I run out of room I can start in their yards but that’s not likely to happen.
I do put pressures on myself but normally not with the garden. I try to make sure everything is taken care of properly as in watering, etc. but I have someone else do the mowing and weed-eating, etc. That allows me more time to do the things I enjoy doing.
As always, thanks for stopping in to read and comment. I always appreciate the time you take to stop by. Sheri
Sheri,
Lovely photos, lovely sharing, lovely friend.
Am up to my ears in adversity; will do better next time. Prayers dear friend,. 🙂
Jeanne – Thank you, my friend. I do appreciate you stopping in to visit and making the time to comment. Sheri
I think your garden looks great. Sorry about the fall but the advice from both your blogger friends sound good to me.
Kim – Thank you. I do love the garden. I love pulling in the drive when I’ve been away and seeing everything in bloom. I always feel I’m coming home. We’ve lived here longer than we’ve ever lived any other place and this garden is maturing. It’s wonderful to reap the rewards after so much hard work. I do hope you are doing well. Sheri
Your garden is lovely, Sheri. 🙂
Thank you, Carol.
The love and care you have bestowed on your garden is obvious even in these pictures. I can’t imagine how much more fabulous it is in real time. Nurturing and watching things grow is the closest one can experience heaven in our life on earth. If you give this much to your garden, I can’t imagine what you give to Tom.
Still, you must look after you too, Sheri with the same love. With all you’ve had on your plate for so many years would kill a race horse. Do try to slow down. ❤
Tess – Let’s have a picnic in the garden. I’ll fix the food and maybe you have an old quilt tucked away somewhere. If not, I’ll find one we can use while we enjoy our food and talk about days to come and speculate about our world of tomorrow.
I would even bring a picnic basket full of goodness as well as the old quilt. Your garden is so inviting, I want to sit in it with you. Since I cannot visit, I hope you take the time with some nice tea and just sit and relax. My mother used to love her garden and it was stunning as well. She hardly sat in it though because she said it hurt to look at it alone.
Okay, I’m ready. Put the ice tea on. What shall we feast on today? ❤
I have a hard time sitting still in the garden. I always see one more thing I need/want to do. Just for you, Tess, I’d make an exception and we’d put on ‘The Ritz.’ How about some nice cheese and fruit, fresh bread and perhaps a mini chocolate tart for dessert. I always like to tuck in a little container of fresh veggies just in case we get the munchies later. The roses are in full bloom along with a multitude of other flowers.
MMmmm. The air smells so good in your garden. My mother’s favorite flowers were roses and tulips.
You might give me a tour from one end of your garden to another, as well. I would enjoy that. 🙂
What beautiful plants you’ve nurtured. Glad for you that gardening can give you a respite from all the other stuff. Plants can certainly soothe the mind and soul. To me there’s nothing more lovely than the smell, feel, and look of a white peony bloom.
Yes, I love all white flowers and if I have the time and energy, I hope to develop an all white garden next year. I currently have white phlox blooming and I enjoy it. Of course I love the white antique roses. They will cover at least half of the front of the house by the middle of summer.
The point of a person for two hours two times a week is for you to GET AWAY two hours two times a week. Just go get your hair or nails done. Run errands. Hang out at a book store. Sit in a park. Sit in a mall and watch people. Take a yoga class. It’ll do you good. You can also give them tasks to do, like folding clothes or dusting or whatever. It might not seem like much, but it is something.
Jane – Oh how I’d love to have that two hours. At this stage of the game I’d take 30 minutes once a month. The problem is the individual is not bonded or licensed and would be like leaving my home with a stranger and allowing them to steal whatever they wanted. Not only that, they only make minimum wage and have been caught coming back to homes later and committing crimes.
The VA is clear in that you can not ask them to do anything other than provide food and drink for the patient. The food must already be prepared, etc.
It’s too great a risk for no more reward that I would get. I simply have to come up with a solution to find someone I trust. Thanks for stopping in to read with me and commenting.
Yep, that’s pretty useless. Mom had an aide that would actually help her with stuff. No heavy lifting, but things that made her feel a little more independent from me. Since her living facility provided meals and housekeeping, she got the illusion of independence and I didn’t have to worry about security, because the front door to the building was monitored 24/7. Darn that VA.
Jane – I had such high hopes when I first heard about the caregiver’s relief offered by the VA. The first round of rejections came when I’d put in months of paperwork, and chasing down where to take it and all the bureaucracy it takes to get anything done only to learn the particular program applied to post 9/11 veterans. While I believe post 9/11 veterans deserve all the benefits they receive and then some, it leaves those of us that sacrificed so much during the Vietnam era. We’ve never expected much and received less. I’m not sure why I thought this would be different.
My father lived independently until the last month of his life. Tom and I were fortunate in that we were able to spoil him and when he was in his own home, he had the same woman that had cleaned and helped out when my Mother was ill and he was familiar with her and trust and all that. All together she was with our family 27 years. It was a wonderful, loving relationship and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. After Mom passed, I simply kept paying her so I’d know someone was in the house 2 or 3 times a week to know that Dad was doing okay. Once he was diagnosed with the terminal cancer, the Kansas Council on Aging paid for the same woman (our choice) to come in 6 days a week and for her to stay as many hours as needed plus paid extra hours for her to do whatever driving she needed to do for Dad for doctor appointments, etc. I believe allowing our parents as much independence as possible is the best gift we can give them, as long as that is what they want.
As for what I’d love to have from the VA and what Tom has more than earned (because they provide none of his medical care other than his psychiatrist and that’s maybe 50 minutes every 3 months) is those 2 hours a month is a licensed and bonded caregiver for those 4 hours a month that would give me some breathing room.
I agree with that 100%!
Sheri, your flowers are so beautiful, and yay for the peony and clematis! Their story teaches me about little changes that could revive our existence.
Sorry to hear about that “caregiving”…
“Watch your surroundings” and be safe and well!
Inese
Inese – I will make it over to your place soon, I promise. I thought of you when the bees were having fun hoovering over the coneflowers today. I was working in the roses nearby. I wish the bees were honeybees and not plain bees but hey, they are in the eco system and not extinct. Thank you for stopping in. Take care.
Sheri, I’m so glad that you have the garden to escape to. It’s beautiful!
Thank you. I love the garden in full bloom. Unfortunately our weather is hot and humid and will remain that way until late Oct. I so miss the 70 degree weather of Monterey, CA we enjoyed on a year-round basis. Thanks for stopping in to read with me.
I happy to hear you returned to your hobby to get your mind off of things and found people to put your mind at rest. All my best for you and Tom!
G.P. – I love the garden. If I had my way, I’d spend many more hours there. I’m not willing to sacrifice the hours I’d have to trade so I’ll make do with the time I do have to spend in the garden. Message coming your way this weekend.
Sheri, enjoyed reading your good thoughts and getting a glimpse of your gorgeous garden.
I am at peace in the garden for I know the Lord will find me there. In the process of living life, I often forget to slow down and listen for His voice.
Reblogged this on mihran Kalaydjian and commented:
IN THE GARDEN WITH SHERI
Always, thank you for the reblog. Mihran, you are too kind. Sheri
Beautiful prayers, beautiful sentiments, beautiful flowers. Thank you for sharing. I pray for peace, improved health, and better resources for coping with disability. God bless you and your husband.
Thank you, Kitt. I sincerely appreciate your stopping in to read and leaving a comment.
Excellent post. I sure hope you are feeling better Sheri. Lord bless you!!!
Thank you, Levi. Each day is a new day for hope and healing. Bless you.
It sounds like you are healing, but slowly. Still praying for you. Lord bless you!!!
Levi, All prayers appreciated. These bones don’t bounce as well as they once did. Blessings to you and your family. Sheri
Lol, I understand Sheri. Still remembering you. Lord bless!!!
Your garden looks like the most beautiful place of refuge. The care and love you put in to your plants is evident. Imagine how you would bloom and Tom, too, if care packages were evaluated and designed with the patient in mind and not the current economically fashionable model/constraints. Good, well paid home care would save millions in costs to hospitals and other health services. My mother always said to me “May safety in God be your companion”. I am not sure where she found those words but may it be so for you. 🙂
Gallivanta – You and your mother are oh so right. I was talking with a friend this evening about what a terrible mess our health care is in. Because of the severe cuts with Obamacare and Medicare, a life-saving procedure was withheld from Tom. It was withheld because he didn’t complain of the correct symptom. I’m so angry, I’m about to spit nails. He’s had yet another surgical procedure we had no idea was on the horizon all because he’d had a severe headache for the past 5 years and not chest pains. There’s something so wrong with this picture. In the process I’ve fired four more doctors. Why did I work so dang hard to save the government millions of dollars in fraud, waste and abuse when now the government is going to turn around and kill us. I moved us from Monterey, California [where we loved living] to Washington, DC [where we couldn’t wait to leave] because I was positive I had the gold plated insurance plan that would protect us for life. It would have worked if Obamacare hadn’t passed into law.
I like those words, “May safety in God be your companion.” I hope and pray He will keep us safe from incompetent legislatures.
You are welcome to join me in the garden anytime you like. Sheri
I would love to join you in your garden. 🙂 My mother has had another spell in hospital and came home at the beginning of the week feeling utterly exhausted. She has private insurance but there were no beds available in the private hospital. The public hospital did the best they could but, really, if adequate home care were available she wouldn’t have had any need to be in hospital at all.
Gallivanta – Gurr! It’s so frustrating to do all the right things (like your mother having the private insurance) and still not be able to get the care we are supposed to have. Our money is in the wrong pocket.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could simply sit in the garden and watch the blossoms bounce along with the whistling breeze. I worked outside almost three hours this evening. The time speeds by and it’s dark long before I’m ready to return to the house.
You have a lot going on – take care my friend.
How lovely to have that time in the garden. We have had a drive in to the country to a small town where my aunt is in a nursing home. The weather was perfect; the mountains topped with snow; fields of winter greens, sheep, cattle, deer. The cobwebs blew out of my head.
each of these is a beautiful miracle, sheri. and they remind us not to give up hope.
Thank you, Beth. I see each flower blossom as a bloom of hope fulfilled. Each is representative of a miracle that they are willing to produce in Arkansas clay.
yes )
Lovely garden. Lovely thoughts.
Bruce – Thank you for stopping in and reading with me. I also appreciate your comments.
I love Bill and Huntie’s sites and have been inspired by them as well. Pondering expectations, I looked at things I needed to as well. And to become more aware of my environment is so helpful. Such a valuable post among the beautiful photos, exemplifying the beauty of nature. ❤
Paulette – I feel closer to myself and God when I’m in the garden than anywhere else on earth. Friends have asked me to take my phone into the garden but I tell them no. A phone would jangle my nerves. Gardening is peaceful and a wonderful retreat.
In spite of adversity or maybe because of it you shine through and find the way to see beauty in all things. Bravery!
In admiration
john
John – We’ve both seen and heard more bad and nasty things than the average one-hundred citizens put together. I’m not sure why it turned out that way, but it did. The stories you tell, your poetry, your art and your life all speak to this adversity. Spending time in my gardens with the flowers grown from seeds and the roses maturing plus the vines reaching for the sun — it’s sheer delight and beauty. I recognize it’s fleeting and one hard rain wipes all the blooms away and I go out and dead-head plants for a week or more but that’s part of nature’s cycle and I can handle that. I wish for just one day, everyone would put away their guns and enjoy the beauty of the earth before we completely destroy it. It means a lot to me that you stopped by. Sheri
It’s really hard to learn to accept limitations, particularly when it’s the limitations our own bodies impose on us. I struggle with that a lot, although my limitations are different than yours. And I’m realizing that acceptance is not a one-time thing. I can’t just accept it and be done. I have to accept it over and over every day–sometimes more than once a day–and it’s much harder than I thought it would be. But it seems to be getting a little easier, and I hope it gets easier for you, too.
Hello, Hope. It’s nice to see you here. Thanks for taking the time to read with me and leave a comment. You are so right about acceptance not being a one-time thing. Due to multiple injuries and numerous sites of chronic pain, I might accept one thing one day and not the other. I try to remember that everything doesn’t have to be perfect but then, there are those expectations . . .
Sheri … don’t you think it just barely possible that you’ve given yourself away entirely in this post ?: “I don’t and won’t stop, so my body simply does it for me by falling.” Is this sensible? It’s not as if you CAN’T stop: it’s that you WON’T.
Never mind the poem – consider the illustration. [huge grin]
Margaret-Rose: Of course it’s not sensible. That’s the reason Bill’s ‘word essay’ sent me looking around in my head for all those expectations. I believe there’s probably a fundamental difference in the two of us. You probably see the importance of stopping and demanding less of yourself when since the age of six, I’ve had it drilled into my brain each time I left the house, “Make us proud.” I always wondered what the implied implication was if I didn’t make her proud. Dad wouldn’t have cared but I would have and nothing pleased my mother.
But … you seem to be saying that it is beyond our capability to change, Sheri … Could that be true ?
M-R – It is possible to change when change is practical and/or finances are available to make the changes possible. If you happened to read the blog titled “My Story” at the bottom of this blog index you will see that I have Traumatic Brain Injuries. I didn’t do anything to bring them on. I was the victim of a violent automobile accident. I am determined to make my life as well as Tom’s as comfortable as possible. However, if I hire a private duty attendant in order for me to have free time, the best price is $165/hr US dollars. What I can do in an effort to keep both feet on the ground is to walk slower and to take smaller steps. You wrote one time you felt you didn’t do enough to assist your husband in his illness. I believe I replied that we each do what we are best capable of doing. I still believe that.
The problem with picking up a blogsite that’s well populated with posts is that one simply doesn’t read them all, Sheri – one gets a ‘feel’ of the blogger and proceeds from there. As I have done with you and yours.
I now have much better than a mere ‘feel’ – some understanding.
I often think that I’m not a very nice person; and this particular exchange has reminded me of it.
I apologise unreservedly !
Margaret-Rose: No apology necessary. We each have our own personalities.
My own personal rule is that I never leave a ‘like’ if I haven’t read the complete blog, explored the photos (if strictly a photography blog), etc. It goes without saying, if I’m going to comment, rest assured you have my full attention. I’m not even suggesting that’s how blogging must be done. It’s simply how I ‘must’ do it. A while back I read one of your blogs and it caused me to chuckle and I was going to leave a ‘like’ but then I read a statement by you wherein you didn’t want just a like. I believe there was a statement that if someone left a like, you would never see it. That’s true. I often don’t see all of mine. However, I have loyal followers that have read and ‘liked’ since I’ve started blogging and for their own reasons have never left a comment. But, at the same time, they’ve never missed a single blog. Perhaps I’m being rigid again in what I expect of myself and I know that’s why I don’t have the time to make it to every blog I follow every week. When all is said and done, there’s still no apology necessary and I still think you are one awesome lady. Sheri
And you would now see that I’ve had to do a complete volte face on that, because I was overwhelmed by people complaining about my removing the Likes. 😐 It’s the (ugh !) Reader I strongly dislike, that enables people to press Like without actually reading anything at all of the post !
I so agree with the you on the reader that randomly hits ‘like’ believing you’ll do the same on their blog. That’s where I draw the line. From time to time I print out the ‘likes’ just to see where most of them are coming from. [That’s the curious beast in me]. I’ve also become more discriminating about the followers I follow back. I’m not going to do the formal, “welcome to my blog and I’m looking forward to exploring yours,” if that’s not what I’m going to do. I haven’t the time nor inclination to follow some I may never hear from again.
Oh, I NEVER automatically follow back anyone. I wait until I see that the person has commented; even if I find when I visit the site that it’s a nice one. No point, eh, Sheri ?
Sheri, I enjoyed your lovely garden flowers and your wise words reminding us to take refuge in God.
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
Thank you, Wendy. Your photos of flowers and nature are magnificent. I’m often lucky to have a cell phone. I refuse to have a phone in the garden and often bloom seasons come and go without pictures having been taken. I love being in the garden and it’s so easy for me to chat with God while I’m there. He doesn’t care that I have dirt under my fingernails and sweat trailing down my neck.
This is a beautiful story with a vauable lesson hidden the words for us readers to seek
Terry – Thank you for stopping in and commenting. I’ve had a tough go of it the past year or so and you have also. I must take a look at how I’m going to proceed with a more balanced life.
Gorgeous flowers! 🙂
Thank you, Rhonda. I love gardening and it always feels so safe to me. When I think of your weekly thankful blog, I always ponder about new blooms that perhaps I haven’t noticed before or perhaps something has sprouted that I’d given up on that it would ever do anything. Normally my wildflowers are going strong by now but we’ve had a tough spring and I still don’t have all of them planted.